THE JOURNEY OF TWO SCHOOL TERMS
Judging from the photo, that shows that it is the end of the week, and normally for me it ends on period 4 of a Friday. I almost always heave a sigh of huge relief that I’ve survived the week! The first two terms of 2023 have been the most challenging and toxic one in my entire teaching career. I’ve tried all styles and techniques to deal with the situation, but all to no avail. As the months progressed, the situation became more excruciating, and I was really contemplating on calling it quits. It didn’t help that I was also over coded: 16 contact hours plus whānau time.
Term-2 became more manageable with the arrival of my on-campus mentor. My weekly interaction with her, as well as her regular class observations greatly assisted me in getting out of the negative place I was in by then. This was what Bishop (2019 p. 196) noted “significant among this support was that she felt that it was safe for her to make mistakes because she would be supported to identify issues and was able to talk it out with her colleagues how she might rectify matters in the future.” The lifeline thrown by my mentor was greatly appreciated and helpful. This was totally and completely different from my term-1 mentor whom I felt talked down to me and was always finding what was wrong with my teaching. I felt that everything I did was wrong and that he set me up to fail.
I was also regularly visited and guided by my Ako Mātātupu: Teach First NZ kaihāpais, that was of great significance to boost my confidence as well as my teaching praxis. It is of great importance to have support in all aspects. There's wisdom in learning from the experts and senior teachers who have a wealth of knowledge in classroom management, behavioural issues and challenges. Even from the simple idea of rearranging the seats in my class, making it more "user-friendly" so to speak.
2. HOW - HOW DID I COME TO THIS MOMENT OF LEARNING?
I’ve been having some challenges in dealing with the behaviour of eight girls in my senior class. It didn’t help that I had very minimum, almost non-existent support from my term-1 on-campus mentor. Plus the fact that my western-orientated education also contributed to the negative vibe in my senior class. Timperley (2013 p. 7) posited that "all teacher candidates have prior conceptions shaped by the 'apprenticeship of observation' (Lortie, 1975); indeed all begin their teacher education with well-formed ideas about how to teach." In my mind, I was a very experienced teacher, of nearly 37 years of teaching expertise. But I was wrong! Teaching is a dynamic process and there's always something new that comes along whether it's behavioural and classroom management, theoretical concepts, new ideas of thinking and doing things among many others. Plus of course, the clientele, the market, the students are also changing, evolving.
I've started to break some barriers. Senior teachers would commiserate with me once they find out about my classroom challenges. They all seem to say nearly the same thing, that they too had a difficult first year. And that the second year will be much better. They even told me that some students would deliberately make it dificult for a teacher because the students feel that us new teachers will not stick around long enough. That's some weird logic there. I do admit that there are days when I feel like why should I even bother to turn up? What's the point of all of these? It was only through plain hard and solid determination that I was able to finish term-2.
3. WHO - WHO IS SPEAKING INTO THIS LEARNING?
There were days and times when the toxic and stressful classroom environment made me feel like giving up. What's the point in waking up very early and making plans for the class? I've had panic attacks in the middle of the night, thinking of the scenario inside my classroom. I've even been called names i.e. "stupido" as well racist remarks, both verbal and non-verbal.
However, I soldiered on, taking the negative situation in my senior class as a challenge for me to improve and step-up. I was very conscious of what was going inside the class, constantly checking myself, keeping myself in a safe space. Sinnema et. al. (2017 p. 300) said that "well-adapted teaching occurs when teachers respond to uncertainties and attend to idiosyncracies of a given situation 'with experimentation and creativity' (Helsing, 2007)." I was afraid of what I might do or say, that will be a regreattabale act later on. I took each day, as a new day, with what happened yesterday as gone and erased. I always reinforced that feeling with my students, so that they will not feel short-chnaged.
4. WHY - WHY DOES THIS MATTER AS A TEACHER FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE?
Bishop & Berryman (2006 p. 196) said "cultural relationships require us to create spaces in which we must first listen to our students and their whānau." My present students are totally different from my previous cohorts in other schools. They are what can be considered as less fortunate because for most of them they are the lowest strata of society: economically, socially, financially, and sometimes spiritually too. I really have to walk the talk. It is not just about explaining, lecturing, and talking, but more often involves actually demonstrating and living as an example.
I've come to realize that since I'm the adult in the classroom, I must be assertive, understanding, and open. Because as Nappan et. al. (2019 p. 277) explained "teaching transcends the individualistic notions of learning by understanding that learning outcomes achieved by students cannot be separated from their environment, culture, belief system, family, and group they affiliate with." I've come to realize also that knowing and having a deeper understanding of who my students are, why are they acting that way, and what is their life away from school, would contribute to having a harmonious relationship in the classroom.
5. WHAT NEXT - HOW WILL THIS LOOK IN MY PRACTICE MOVING FORWARD?
This will hopefully help me cope with future challenges in and out of the classroom. I'm hopeful and positively looking forward to term-3 as a new start, a refresh, a new beginning. The following useful questions for teachers was recommended by Mutch et. al (2016 p. 92):
1. What are the big ideas that students need to grasp?
2. What resources will enable students to understand the background to this issue?
3. What sources will provide reliable information and different perspectives to this issue?
4. What activities will help students to process multiple sources, gain deeper levels of understanding and refine their conceptual frameworks?
5. How much time needs to be spent at this stage before students embark on their independent or collaborative inquiries?
My students are amazing, even those in my senior class. I always see a redeeming value in them. I do admit that at times it would be very difficult to see that but I try to keep my positivity. I have this weird saying when faced with insurmountable challenges: "How do one eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Whatever huge problems one faces, there's always a way out of it. Lately, I've seen more students gravitating towards my classroom whenever they are on a break. They say that they feel safe in my class and that it's warm and comfortable. Some of them even bring me food from their daily, free meals. There are times too that I share whatever cookies or biscuits I have.
There have been awesome moments during the last two school terms: my whānau class being in the winning house team for the Haka Waita competition and being with them during the practise sessions, watching some of my students participate at the Polyfest, the couple of times when we had to evacuate the building because of fire (it was not a drill), watching my students participate in sports, or just the simple way of bringing my class to discuss under the trees.
One thing that I will continue on doing is to play the online game called FREE RICE. This game is well like by majority of my students because it develops their vocabulary and at the same time it helps in the food programme of the UNITED NATIONS. According to Jensen (2013 p. 244) "vocabulary building must form part of enrichment experiences for students and teachers must be relentless about introducing and using new words. I've seen how students felt after the game, more empowered and engaged.
At the end of the day, I will always choose to be a teacher, because this is where I get to have a front row seat to the best movie that I will ever see, the life of my student! May God Be Praised for this opportunity to be of service.
REFERENCES:
Bishop, R. (2019). Teaching to the North-East: Relationship-based learning in practice. Wellington.
NZCER Press.
Bishop, R., & Berryman, M. (2006). Culture Speaks: Cultural relationships and classroom learning.
Wellington: Huia Press.
Jensen, E. (2013). How poverty affects classroom engagement. Educational Leadership, 70(8), 24-30
http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/may13/vol70/num08/How-Poverty-Affects-Classroom-Engagement.aspx.
Mutch, C., Perreau, M., Houliston, B., & Tatebe, J. (2016). Teaching social studies for social justice: Social
action is more than just doing stuff.” In M. Harcourt, A. Milligan, B. Wood (Eds.) Teaching social
studies for critical, active citizenship in Aotearoa New Zealand (pp. 82-101). Wellington, New
Zealand: NZCER Press.
Napan, K., Connor, H., & Toki, L. (2019). Cultural Pedagogy and Transformative Learning: Reflections on
Teaching in a Māori Environment in Aotearoa New Zealand. Journal of Transformative Education,
18(1), 59-57. https://doi.
Sinnema, C., Meyer, F., & Aitken, G. (2017). Capturing the Complex. Situated and Active Nature of Teaching
Through Inquiry-Oriented Standards for Teaching. Journal of Teacher Education, 68(10, 9-27.
Timperley, H. (2013). Learning to Practise. Ministry of Education. Wellington.
Wood, B. (2013). What is a social inquiry?: Crafting questions that lead to deeper knowledge about society
and citizenship. set: Research Information for Teachers, 3, 20-28.
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